I was reading a blog this morning where the blogger was ruminating on this phrase - "I deserve it". I have used this phrase so many times when I wanted something. Usually, when I wanted to eat something. So, now I am thinking about this, too.
What makes me think that I deserve to treat my body like a garbage can? Is that truly what I deserve? Do I deserve to make myself sick, make my stomach hurt, make my head spin and my heart pound all because of some piece of sludge that I want to put into my mouth? Sure, I deserve to relax, unwind and let go, but is this really what I am doing when I do this?
Or, instead, maybe what I really deserve is to be healthy, happy, calm and in control. Maybe I deserve the grander things in life and not the sugar, fat and salt that my demented brain thinks it deserves. Perhaps I am seeking a state of just not having to think by the repeated motion of putting things in my mouth. And, if that is what I am seeking, then why isn't the repeated motion of putting celery into my mouth enough?
Deep thoughts this morning. The head game continues.
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