Tuesday, October 15, 2013

I deserve it

I was reading a blog this morning where the blogger was ruminating on this phrase - "I deserve it".  I have used this phrase so many times when I wanted something.  Usually, when I wanted to eat something.  So, now I am thinking about this, too.

What makes me think that I deserve to treat my body like a garbage can?  Is that truly what I deserve?  Do I deserve to make myself sick, make my stomach hurt, make my head spin and my heart pound all because of some piece of sludge that I want to put into my mouth?  Sure, I deserve to relax, unwind and let go, but is this really what I am doing when I do this?

Or, instead, maybe what I really deserve is to be healthy, happy, calm and in control.  Maybe I deserve the grander things in life and not the sugar, fat and salt that my demented brain thinks it deserves.  Perhaps I am seeking a state of just not having to think by the repeated motion of putting things in my mouth.  And, if that is what I am seeking, then why isn't the repeated motion of putting celery into my mouth enough?

Deep thoughts this morning.  The head game continues.

No comments:

Post a Comment