Monday, October 14, 2013

My resignation

I don't make New Year's Resolutions.  Instead, what I do is to dedicate my year to a particular lesson.  Some lessons take multiple years.  I think this may be one of them.

This year, my lesson was to learn to just let things be.  Let it go and let it happen.  To "accept the things I cannot change".  Basically, to resign as CEO of the Universe.

One thing I have realized is that it is time to let Medifast go.  I have been struggling with a binge issue for months.  And I am seeing that, for me, the "all or nothing-ness" of Medifast lends itself to binging.  Don't get me wrong, it is a wonderful program.  I would not be at the weight I am without it.  At least not at this point.  And I'm not saying that I won't use it again.  I have learned many good lessons from it, as well.  But it is so unforgiving.  One wrong bite on the 5&1 and you can kick yourself out of ketosis, and once I have done that I may as well just continue until tomorrow.  And tomorrow comes and I may as well put if off another day since I won't be back in the "fat burn" state for a couple of days.

Weight Watchers doesn't do that.  I had a small blow out on Friday this week on protein bars.  I ate 6 of them in one day.  But what would have been a major issue, leading to more and more eating, was just something that I used my Weekly points for.  And not even all of them.  So, yes, it qualifies as binge because, as I define it, I was eating out of control, eating things I didn't really want, eating when I wasn't hungry, and eating in secret.  But it was sort of like a 'controlled burn', if you will.  And on Sunday, I was even down on the scale.  Not much - only 0.2 - but down nonetheless.  Weight Watchers is not a fast loss program, so I don't expect a lot.  I just don't want to go in the other direction.  And I would like to ease the last 20 lbs off.  Or maintain here.  I am really not picky at this point.

I have so many other things going on and I really can't afford to worry about them all.  As a matter of fact, worrying is a wasted emotion.  It avoids no crisis and gets nothing done.  All it does is wear away at my own health.  And while watching my strong, unflappable Father disappear I am being forced to realize that there are things over which I simply have no control.  This is one of them. And instead of being frustrated with him because he is having a particularly "dumb" day, I have to accept that this is how it is.  And it isn't going to get better.  If I fight his decline, I am harming his fragile hold on his pride and I am harming my own soul.

Now, that is not to say that I don't, on occasion, fight it.  I do.  I get frustrated.  I get angry.  I get sad.  And none of that has helped anything.  It hasn't slowed the rate of his demise and it hasn't added to my own peace in the situation.  So I need to let it go.  Accept this thing that I cannot change.  Accept that there are some games in which I have no player.  Let other people work out their own lives without my intervention. Give those I love the gift of unconditional acceptance and love that everyone needs and deserves.

Here it is the middle of October and I am still working on this one.   I have the feeling that it will be a multi-year process.  I will tackle the "change those things that I can" and "the wisdom to know the difference" later.  Right now, today, this is a big enough challenge.

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