Feeling better

Just a short post to say that I am feeling much better than I was on Sunday.  I am doing well with not eating in bed.  Since I can't seem to control myself, I need to just avoid it altogether.  I have had to stop spending my day off watching recorded TV shows from the week because the situation was triggering me to eat.  A lot.  Now, it seems, that the same thing is happening with eating in bed.  I don't think it is so much WHAT I am eating that does it, but rather the repeated action of getting in and out of bed looking for one more thing to eat. 

By bedtime routine is pretty safe, as far as it goes.  I am not a good sleeper.  Losing 120 lbs has not helped that at all.  Because of that, I go to bed and get up at the same time every day, have no TV in my room, no computer, I read for a while before going to sleep and I use a "dawn simulator" alarm clock - it takes 15 minutes to fade down and 30 minutes to fade up to help with the atrocious SAD I realized I still suffer from.  I say "I realized"  because I lived for 12 winters in the South where it was not really an issue.  The lights on the clock are not blue, which is an issue also. 

So my bedtime "hygiene" is good.  But I had taken to eating my last Medifast meal in bed while I was reading, usually sharing with the cat.  But then the "creep" set in.  I would eat my meal.  Then another.  Then another.  And suddenly I am in the routine of bouncing in and out of bed grabbing yet another thing like an automaton.  I would often stop myself from doing it, but it has been a real fight for quite some time.  THAT seems to be the only time that I binge.  In bed. 

So, for the past 2 days I have not eaten in bed.  I have my last meal at the same time that my Dad has his ice cream, while we are watching Jeopardy.  I drink water in bed.  And, you know, I don't even seem to notice the absence of the meal.  Before Medifast, I never ate in bed.  Ever. And the cat is has gotten used to it, since I ran out of BBQ bites for a while anyway.  Instead of being fed, she gets petted.  I think she likes it just as well, and so do I.  She is 16 1/2 - I don't know how many more nights I will have with her, after all.

My sister has lost 135 lbs in the past several years.  She has not really been on any sort of diet.  Any formal diet would cause her to binge.  Including Medifast and Weight Watchers.  She says she has made "small, sustainable changes".  I like that.  Anytime I vow to be 100% perfect, I wind up binging.  So I, too, will make small, sustainable changes.  Along with my 6 small meals a day eating routine and eating every 2 1/2 - 3 hours, not eating in bed is a small sustainable change.  I can do this.  And, so far, it is not pushing my binge buttons.