Examined Choices

Sept 2012

Week 7, down 2.6 for a total of 24.

I am working on redefining the feelings in my stomach. I get this grumbly feeling, sort of empty like, all afternoon. I know it is not true hunger because I have eaten and I can distract myself from it. But my mind thinks I am hungry. That is how my body sees it, too. In my former life, I would eat all afternoon. I would have eaten until the feeling went away and I was in a food coma. But I am also working on teaching my mind that being hungry is ok, and I am not going to die from it. There is plenty of food around that I could eat should I CHOOSE to. So, I tell myself, I can CHOOSE not to eat it, too. In time, my body will embrace the feeling of being unhungry, but not full.

So goes the life of examined choices. Yes, there are times when I wish I could just eat and drink like I was going to die tomorrow. Then I realize - I could if I chose to. I could eat and drink everyday like I was going to die tomorrow. The only thing that will bring me is an increased chance of actually doing that. And I have too much to do, too many responsibilities, too much LIFE to experience to take that chance.

Now, I'm not saying that there is no possibility of my being dead tomorrow. But I am not going to sit on the couch and wait for it. Death, Disease and Bad Health - those guys are going to have to track me down to find me. And they will have to look hard, because I don't sit still for long!