May 2013
Today, I am going over to my ex-fiance's mother's house to help the
family plan his funeral. It feels a little strange to be doing it, but I
knew him better than anyone in the past 3 years. I don't really know if
HE would like that I am included but he gave up the right to have an
opinion - any opinion - when he decided that is was better to die than
to live. Am I angry? You bet. Am I sad? Beyond measure. He was a
kind, sweet, intelligent and funny man. He was also a self absorbed,
passive aggressive man. I am mourning one and furious at the other. And
confused about it all.
Aside from this, I have a house full of
company who came into Spokane for Bloomsday, an annual 12k international
race. I won't be racing - I'll leave that to the Kenyans. I will be
walking. And I will have walked about 9.5 miles by the time we are
done. I walked a 5k today with my brother and one on Thursday with my
friend. I did another one on Monday just because it was nice out. And
tomorrow afternoon I will go to my usual yoga class.
So, this is
altogether an odd weekend. Not at ALL what I had planned to be doing
this weekend. I had planned to enjoy my family, walk, laugh and
probably eat pizza. There is no way I can do all I am going to do
tomorrow on 900 calories. Heck, I will burn more than that before
1:30! But I will be back OP on Monday. And life will begin to return
to normal on Wednesday by which time everyone will be safely home.
Blessings on all. It is a beautiful day here in the Lilac City!
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